Amiya- II

Who is Amiya? Amiya was a person who at the age of sixteen, discovered her sexuality and came out of the closet. Her life had been great up till then. She was an intelligent student, her parents loved her unconditionally, had amazing friends, she couldn’t ask for a more perfect life. Only what she thought. Amiya changed her name after she discovered her true-self. Changing from Amay to Amiya was not an easy task for her, but she did.

She was now aware of her identity, but couldn’t tell the world, why? Because, the world had problems with the choices she made for her life. Eradicating the fact that poverty, hunger, corruption, terrorism and rape were all taken care of, the society decided to intervene in her life and question her personal choices.

She was now 23; it had been almost eight years since she knew the truth about herself but hadn’t been able to cope up with. Her scores had lowered, she had lost confidence, her jolly nature had turned into a depressed state, yet she had been surviving.

But it was enough now, she decided to take a step and confess this to her parents. As expected they didn’t approve. The next things were prayers, rituals and practices, all dedicated to turn her back into a man. She was put into a rehabilitation center where she met the love of her life. In that hell hole where the “sick” people (as society portrays) were kept and “treated”; they were made to chant tantras for their benefit, since they weren’t as “sick” as those kept in the basement, they were believed to be possessed  and some mentally-ill and their treatment included sleeping naked on the floor, drinking water from the pot and were made to be used as sex-slaves by the guards, people used to this would give in whereas those who were new were forced, assaulted and raped, while their parents and friends allowed as being a part of the process to recovery.

But Amiya wasn’t the one who would allow such gruesomeness to exist, she managed to escape with her partner only to be caught again and tortured. Yet, she didn’t break. She knew this was illegal and seeking help from the right people was needed. Her plan was in roll. To keep her partner away from any trouble, they never disclosed about their relationship in general.

One night, the guards had left the main exit gate open, grabbing the perfect opportunity, she absconded from the jail. She managed to get to the help-center and called her high school English teacher, who was a humanist and worked with a NGO for the LGBTQ community, she told him all about the situation ongoing and that help was required immediately. For the night, she crashed at a friend’s house. The next morning, the people from the help-center crowded in front of the rehab –center. Everybody knew it existed, but no one had any proofs against it as it was handled by people in power at high level.

Through continuous nagging and much pressure, the victims to brutal act of “gaining back sexuality” were freed. Most of them were then admitted to hospitals and many started therapy sessions to help overcome the trauma. It was a win for Amiya, she not only managed to save herself but many others like her. She was a hero. But, heroes die, right? Yes, she did.

Anger, frustration led her to be the victim of rape and torture in such a manner that her body wasn’t found in one piece. She destroyed the business of money, they “had” to take revenge, and they did. She somehow knew this would happen; after all, the world is indeed filled with sick people, except it’s not hidden in their sexuality but in their upbringing, character and their thinking.

She left a note for her partner, how Amiya’s love described her state here-

Amiya

The more I think of it, the more it seems far. 

I know I’m not supposed to miss you, for this is the rule nature perceives,

Sad is what I don’t approve

The pain it gives

 Makes me love 

Makes me lose

Leaving me with memories 

Reliving the locks I marked on loss

I might seem strong 

My heart bears weight

My mind is diverted

Delusioned I am

Some may ask how long you grieve 

Forever, I say

Gauging on the pain

I opened the last box,

Letter still in envelope

Named after me

Goes somehow hard

I read quietly 

“My dear baby,

Your loss is unbearable 

Forgive me while I live

I tried my best to survive

Maybe fate is how it worked

You might hate god,

You might curse me

I know life without me won’t be easy

Neither will it exist

But you’re my strong bacchu

Complete your destiny 

Mine was limited to make you love, teach you life;

Yours isn’t 

And if there’s an afterlife 

I shall meet you

We shall unite

Thou may cry again

Believe me you, 

I love you for eternity

Live, don’t just exist

Smile, don’t just breathe 

My baby you’re here to change the world for better 

Make sure no one suffers 

Nothing like what we did. “


I sob, 

Afraid to let loose the boxed emotions 

I sob,

Not holding back my tears 

I sob, 

I sob,

My world was forgotten 

I lived her life

Amiya may have left this cruel world

She gave me her strength 

She suffered a lot 

The little she lived,

She gave me hope,

I shall fight for her 

We may be rich in land

We may be rich by food,

We lack morals

We lack humanity 

We lack love

We lack life. 

I sob,

Thinking her misery,

I sob

I cry and I cry…

 

 

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